After an Abusive Relationship, Lily Collins is Putting Herself First

Rising from the ashes of a destructive relationship.

Self-care is paramount.

beg-quote-black-71by52Lily Collins has released her first book, a collection of essays titled Unfiltered. […] her essays are raw, reflective, and deeply personal.

Perhaps the best example of this is her decision to discuss a former relationship that she says was physically and emotionally abusive. Collins told Us Weekly that the choice to include that part of her life in the book wasn’t easy, but she hoped it would be illuminating for women in similar situations. […]

Collins also revealed that it’s been difficult for her to talk about this time in her life, because she used to blame herself for ending up in a toxic situation in the first place. “I never regretted it, but I felt ashamed,” she said. “I thought, How could I put myself in that position? I came to a deeper understanding as I was writing. It’s taking the shame out of those things that makes you stronger.” […] “My book #Unfiltered is not about the other people in my life, but instead what I’ve learned about myself along the way,” she wrote in her caption. “It’s not about vilifying anyone. It’s about sharing my experiences to hopefully help others.”end-quote-black-71by52

Source: After an Abusive Relationship, Lily Collins is Putting Herself First

The wild spoke and she listened

Let your story acknowledge your struggles and your strengths.

The wild spoke and she listened

This originally appeared on the Art Body Soul Life Page on Facebook, February 8, 2017. The artwork was part of the post that was attributed to Robyn Rosemary Foyn.

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I see a lot of comments on FB about how we need to let go of our old stories, as though they were useless baggage we hold on to for no reason whatsoever except to make ourselves unhappy.

But sometimes these old stories are not over.

Wounds and losses and trauma that happened decades ago don’t always have a use by date where they become ‘old’ or obsolete. The repercussions of some things can continue to affect us for the rest of our lives.

When they become part of our story we are chastised for this, sometimes phrased as ‘letting it affect us’. As though we were faulty for still being triggered sometimes, for feeling sad or scared or overwhelmed in some situations. This is just another version of ‘move on’ and ‘get over it’.

Our old stories are filled with wisdom. They tell us where we’ve been and how far we’ve come. Without them we wouldn’t know our triumphs, or where we still need to heal. It’s ok to own your stories. Find meaning in them, let them help you acknowledge your struggles and your strengths. Let them tell you when to say no, when to ask for support. None of us get out of this unscathed. Your story will be a breadcrumb for others. I want to hear how in your darkest hours, you found your way through. I want to know how you got your scars and how you’re still here in spite of them. I want to learn how you held on to hope when you were told you were worthless. Those are your old stories. Don’t let go of them.

I don’t want to hear how you drink green juice every day, always think positively, and live every day to the fullest. I know you don’t. Your story is much richer and wilder than that.

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5 SIGNS OF A HEALTHY TEEN RELATIONSHIP

Let’s encourage healthy teen relationships.

Teen relationships

 

beg-quote-black-71by52You’d be hard pressed to find a teen who isn’t glued to their smartphone these days. But what about that teen who’s being bombarded with text messages from a significant other – is that just normal behavior or perhaps a sign of “textual harassment”?

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, and despite startling statistics—such as nearly 60 percent of teens know someone who has been physically, sexually, or verbally abusive in a dating relationship—the good news is that adults can play a role in encouraging healthy dating behavior.

The article continues with the 5 signs of a healthy teen relationship. Please read the entire post on Futures Without Violence

Image: Futures without violence

Sexual violence: starting the conversation

Another community raising awareness as a first step in preventing sexual assault

Panel discussion of sexual violence with parents and teens

Documentary screening at Wilton Library addresses sexual violence” originally appeared in The Hour (Southwest Connecticut)

beg-quote-black-71by52WILTON — One in five women and one in 16 men are sexually assaulted while in college, and more than 90 percent of those victims never report the assault, according to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center.

This past fall, the Wilton Domestic Violence Task Force was made aware that a former Wilton High School student was part of that statistic — and part of an issue that many experts consider an epidemic.

To raise awareness about campus sexual assault, and in recognition of Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, the task force collaborated with a coalition of local groups to put on a full day of programs on Wednesday at the public schools and library, including a free screening of “The Hunting Ground” Wednesday night.

Martha Griep, a Wilton parent who came to the screening with her high school daughter, said the issues of sexual violence and sexual assault need to be addressed more.

“I think if it sees the light of day, kids are going to realize it’s not OK,” Griep said. “It’s scary. My daughter’s a junior and she’s going to be a senior next year and then off to college.”

Please continue reading, there’s more

Getting the Dating Violence Conversation Started

How one group of concerned adults got the teen dating violence conversation started.

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

This article presents one way to begin a conversation with teens and pre-teens about relationships, respect, and warning signs of an abusive relationship.

Junior High kids talk ‘Teen Dating Violence’ at Cody CDC” was originally posted on Pentagram

beg-quote-black-71by52What is one way to get teenagers to talk about an important issue like relationship abuse and sexting for Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month?

Show them a prominent crime show on YouTube about a fictional character who experiences real-life trauma and then discuss it.

For February, Army Community Service Family Advocacy program victim advocate and School Age Services leader, Jalessa Robinson, showed seven students Law & Order: Special Victims Units (SVU) Feb. 10 at The Cody Child Development Center. This particular show was about a female high school student who was in an abusive relationship, one that almost killed her.

“Kids are being exposed to things younger and younger these days,”said Lindsay Seals, a domestic abuse victim advocate at Fort Myer; Seals led a round-table discussion with the students after the show. “The hope was to start with the younger teens so that we could educate them on teen abuse [in order] that they might be aware of what [abuse looks like] — because it can be hard to identify.”

Please read the rest of the story